by Asif Akhtar

Floating a new idea out there, since nothing else seems to be working for Pakistan these days I don't think it'll hurt to try. Since apparently these days Pakistan has become a hornet's nest infested with terrorists, goons, and baddies of all sorts, and now that even Iran wants to go after militants linked with a suspicious Jundallah organization; I think Pakistan should just swallow a bitter pill and forsake their cherished sovereignty for 48 hours, let anyone who has beef with the terrorists come in, deal with their issues in whatever manner they like and then leave politely before the stipulated time is over.

For one, this policy would save the Pakistani security forces a lot of trouble running after obscure terror outfits squatting in their badlands. As an added bonus, we'd be able to have cordial relations with all our neighbours after all our bickering issues are sorted out. India can take care of LeT for us, NATO and the Afghan Forces, united as one primal entity, can usher those gruesome Uzbeks, along with those Arab, and North African militants out of our hair, and Iran can help clean up the whole mess in Baluchistan.

Sure it'll be a two day long, extremely intense, four-way fornication ritual, but we will be cleansed once and for all after it's finally over. We'll be able to become bum-chums with India finally (or as some Indians would put it, "Chaddi Buddies), and would even be able to open the borders (since no baddies would be going the other side of the border anymore) and cut down the twelve figure overinflated defense bill we get annually. We could invest that money in liberal institutions, and welfare and all those other fun things democracies need to have. Also, the whole world wouldn't be pissed at us anymore, and we would once again gain acceptability as a productive member of the "international community".

Considering what we've been through over the past two decades trying to cure ourselves of this infection we contracted when the winds of the cold cold war blew ferociously through these parts. I think we should just admit that we have more than we can chew on our plates, swallow our pride and just fling the gates wide open (for stipulated time only, terms and conditions apply)...