By Tahmena Bokhari

As a Canadian of Pakistani origin, social worker and community speaker on issues facing the Pakistani community, it seems that I cannot talk about Pakistan or Pakistani women without being asked about religion, Islam, or non-secularism.

As I travel the world, once people realise that I am of Pakistani origin, I am often asked questions such as why I do not wear the hijab; why I dress, speak and act ‘normally’; what I think about the niqab; why I was not ‘married off’ at a younger age; how I feel about women’s rights issues (or lack thereof) within Islam; and how I feel about extremism. Muslim’ and ‘Pakistani’ have indeed become one and the same in the minds of many.

Even when I am publicly speaking on topics that have absolutely nothing to do with Islam or religion, there is at least one person who simply cannot resist asking me about my (perceived) faith. Often people have said to me that this is because I am perceived (with great compliments) as a woman who ‘has broken many of the stereotypes’, and that I am ‘likely a unique overachiever who has overcome the limitations’ my faith background places on me.

This has often left me wondering why it is that I am not seen as a product of my faith, rather than the odd exception. It is not only non-Muslims, but many Muslims, both men and women, who are surprised by me and have asked me many questions related to life balance that include spirituality and faith. The predictable questions I am asked are indicative of what the world understands Islam to be, and this is based on what millions of Muslim ambassadors have demonstrated Islam to be.

I want to make it clear that I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be, an expert in religion or Islam. Nor do I claim to be the perfect example of living Islam and nor do I buy into such a concept. I am simply a person on a journey and one who happens to be of Muslim faith and heritage. Being a social worker and educator, I am also someone who has dedicated my life to ‘helping’ and bettering the world, which to me is consistent with my personal faith. I can only describe my own experiences and ideas and I do not speak for any private or public body.

I do not believe that we can expect to know and understand how ‘Islamic’ one is simply by looking at them, their dress, knowing what they eat and drink, or asking how many times a day they pray. Many are aware of the contradictions within many Muslims which often become a focal point of discussions and jokes – some may drink but not eat pork; some may pray five times a day but lie five times more per day; some may dress modestly at home but dress provocatively outside of the home; some men may refuse to shake hands with Muslim women but have no problem shaking the hands of non-Muslim women; some may have affairs with non-Muslims but have arranged marriages with Muslims; some never go to the mosque but are known as very kind people; some go to the mosque every day but are abusive to their families when they get home; and some fight against Islamophobia in the mainstream West, yet justify racism, sexism, sectism, violence and oppression within their own communities.

We have indeed become focused on the very literal rules and regulations (interpreted from the 7th century language of the Quran) which are used to police others. And this is what has become the understanding of Islam by many. As a counsellor, I can tell you this has led to various traumas and internal conflicts that are plaguing our youth and families and to say the least, significantly interfering in their personal level of peace.

Many Muslims and non-Muslims around the world agree that in fact Islam was hijacked on 9/11 and that the Islam of the one percent of extremists is not the representation of Islam. However, to me what is much more disturbing is that Islam has been stolen, weakened, cheapened, broken into pieces, commodified, chewed up, spit out, and most horrificly ghettoized. And this has been going on long before 9/11.

Intentional or unintentional, this has been done by an impoverished (with all that poverty does to the mind, body and soul) and perhaps desperate, and most importantly, the least self-actualised segment of the world’s Muslim population.

With all the focus on being on the extremist one percent, I am more concerned about the leftover middle range bulk, the so-called ‘moderate’ Muslim majority, a majority which is majorly silent. The presence of the overwhelming silent majority is an indication of our own lack of understanding of faith and is even more telling of the ongoing and generational ghettoisation of Islam altogether.

Even more telling is what the silent ‘moderate’ majority is not so silent about. Some examples include:

• the continuous emphasis on death, punishment and ‘fearing of the hell fire’
• enforcing (perceived) acceptable and appropriate roles of women
• the method and number of times others pray and whether they eat halal each and every time
• arguing with great passion why the Ahmadiyyas cannot and should not be called Muslims
• denouncing Hindu practices
• criticising each other for not knowing enough about the rules and regulations of Islam
• removing various forms of healthy stress relief as unIslamic, yet accepting violence within families as a natural outcome of the stress that Muslim men face
• banning Facebook on ‘Draw Muhammad Day’ (mostly youth were involved in this)
• criticising any successful person in the community especially if she is a woman and especially for being un-Islamic in some shape or form
• ensuring Pakistani Muslim men (living outside of Pakistan) marry young uneducated female cousins (often from tiny villages back home) and then criticising educated Muslim women for marrying outside of the community
• preventing our children (especially girls) from pursuing travel, sports and hobbies, having any opposite-sex or non-Muslim friends due to fear of dilution or intermarriage
• removing our kids from gym, music or art classes

And that's just a few examples.

Let’s take for a moment the case of an Islamic state. As a social worker, I have worked in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. There are women who have to resort to prostitution because they have no source of income; there are kidnapped children who are abused, deformed and forced into a life of begging on the streets with the profits going to their abusers; there are people who are forced to steal because of the economic and social conditions; and, there are people who have died of common illnesses because they could not afford or access a doctor or medicine.

Yes, all of this is normal in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Is all of this Islamic? We somehow forget to ask that question. Why do we not ‘fear the hell fire’ when we forget to speak out against such (unIslamic) injustices?

Even though Pakistan is an Islamic state, many people around the world, including those from other Islamic nations, have argued that those living in Pakistan are not necessarily representatives of true Islam. But if not in a Muslim state, where then are the so-called true representatives of Islam? I do not think Muslims can agree on a model Muslim community, if there is one. We need to understand that this is the reality and norm in this and other Islamic states and standing idly by is actually promoting the unIslamic problems.

Remember, the 180 million people within Pakistan and the millions of Pakistanis living outside of Pakistan, are all pseudo-ambassadors for the country whether they want to be or not. The one and a half billion Muslims around the world are also pseudo-ambassadors for Islam, whether they want to be or not, and importantly, whether we want them to be or not. This ambassador role is gravely overlooked. Like it or not, more telling to the world are the people who make up the religion than the religion itself.

What is important in the post-9/11 era is that Muslims around the world truly demonstrate with their actions that they are people of justice and peace. What is important is that we Muslims show each other (especially our youth) how to be Muslim, and I am not referring here to the rules and regulations of the religion.

Having travelled through many countries and having met many diverse people of various races, faiths and cultures, I have noticed that when people get together and the issues of inner peace, world peace, humanitarianism, love and compassion, attaining a higher state of being etc come up in conversation, if any religion is mentioned, Islam is not it. But isn’t that what Islam (or any religion) is supposed (or claims) to do? Isn’t it supposed to shape obviously ‘good’, gentle and kind human beings, in each and every person, in entire communities, not just the one odd person or leader?

I often hear people referring to Hindu, Buddhist and Baha’i teachings in terms of finding and promoting peace. I wonder why that is? Even though there are a few bad apples in every community, would the majority of the world’s Muslim population not be a clear model for a life of peace and all the wonderful characteristics that we claim our religion is all about? Would the phrase ‘religion of peace’ not mean that the majority of our energy and time would be spent on inner and outer peace even with all the contraints of life? But, where are Muslims in peace? A ‘clear model’ means that we should not have to go out of our way, search long and hard, just to prove to the world and ourselves, that we are truly a people of peace.

So, do we have our priorities in order? Just because we are not blowing up buildings like the extremists and just because we may eat halal, wear the hijab, stay away from the opposite sex, pray five times a day, live in utter ‘fear of the hell fire’, and without invitation preach these rules to ensure others too are fearful of the hell fire, are we living the real Islam? Is this as far as our faith has taught us? Is this as deep as it gets?

In the oft-quoted words of a famous non-Muslim humanitarian: “Be the change you want to see”.

Tahmena Bokhari is a college professor, social worker and recently won the title of Mrs Pakistan World. You can read more about Tahmena Bokhari’s work as a social worker working in Muslim countries on her two blogs at…
http://tahmenabokhari.blogspot.com/ and http://tahmenabokharisoutheastasia.blogspot.com

Published on 22nd July 2010